True joy is one of those things that comes around at various times and opportunities.  I have realized that I finally have true joy in my life.  I have been holding on to the past for so long that I didn’t realize what it was doing to me.  The last few weeks since I’ve been talking to my ex again, I have started letting go of him and forgiving him for the past.  i still love him and I would love to try again with him but i think I finally realize that if we don’t get back together I will be ok.  My children are in a good place and so am i.  Joy comes from within and from GOD.  I know that my life would never be perfect in GOD’s eyes but I am doing the best I can to be the best version of myself.