Being Alone

I had someone accuse me awhile back of not being able to be alone.  They expressed a doubt that I’m ok by myself.  You know it is funny that they would tell me that because most of the time I feel alone even when I’m in a relationship.  Most of my relationships are more of a distraction than anything.  I think I’m starting to confront the idea that I’m supposed to be alone.  I have been married twice and to be honest I’m not very good at being married.  I don’t really like having to compromise and I don’t really like having someone around all the time.  After awhile just about everybody gets on my nerves.

I am alone now in almost every aspect.  I am not dating anyone and I’m not in a relationship with anyone.  I’m ok though.  I feel like he was projecting his own feelings of resentment in a way to make me feel guilty for the way I have lived my life.  I will finish school on Saturday and then I will graduate in December.  I will spend time with my family and friends over the next few months.  I don’t need a relationship to be happy.  I have my writing and my students.  I also have my children.  I am going to focus on me and what’s important to me.  I’m done focusing on a man and what’s important to them over my own needs.  It is time to stand on my own two feet.

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