Lost and Alone

Today I’m feeling a bit lost and alone!  I’m going through so much right now and part of me feels like I have to deal with all of it by myself!  I lost my best friend which is really hard to comprehend and deal with! I know I can no longer trust him but it is so hard not to have him in my life!  I was completely distracted last week by my ex so the loss wasn’t so prevalent in my mind!  I know I can’t keep relying on my ex to feel that void! He and I can’t have that kind of friendship!  I’m not really sad I’m a bit blah!  Last week I was happy and now I’m just okay!  My best friend and I had lots of great conversations about all sorts of stuff!  Last week my ex and I did that!  Part of me wonders whether it is truly possible to be friends with my ex!  I’ve read so many articles that say you can never be friends with your ex!  The problem is that we work together and go to church together so it would be difficult to do those things if we’re not friendly!  On the opposite side of that coin, I can’t spend a lot of time with him without wanting us to get back together! How do you find the balance? I know he doesn’t want to get back together so I don’t want to make it weird! My graduation is a week and he’s supposed to go so I don’t want him to change his mind because he’s worried about my feelings!  I know he doesn’t want to hurt me and he’s completely explained how he feels about us!  My stupid heart just won’t let go of the possibility that he could change his mind! I wish God would intervene because I don’t  like having unrequited feelings!

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