I used to think I could rely on other people to be there for me. I used to think that I could actually count on my friends. Now I have come to realize that the only person I can really rely on is myself. I have learned to deal with the death of my father as well as my broken heart. I was talking with my ex on Friday night and he mentioned being sorry for not being there for me when I was upset about my dad. I immediately reminded him that he wasn’t there for me when I put my dog down either. He has actually left me on my own to deal with lots of things. I have come to realize that I don’t really trust him to be there for me when things aren’t going well. I always try to be there for him but somehow when I need him he is rarely there. I know trust is important in any relationship but I would have to say that I don’t really trust anyone anymore. I used to think that I needed support because I was grieving for my dad but I finally figured out how to feel better about that on my own. I used to worry about my ex and all his ups and downs but now I realize they have nothing at all to do with me. I can’t control how he feels and I refuse to sit around and wait on him to decide what he wants. I’m going to live my life and do what makes me happy. If he decides he wants to be in it than he will make an effort. I leave for Spain in 18 days and I can’t wait to see what that adventure has in store for me.