It always strikes me how periods of indecision can seem to become mountains when stress is added to it. For the last few months I have been feeling like I am on shaky ground when it comes to my job. My principal seems to be unhappy with everything I do and I have started feeling like it won’t matter what I do she won’t be happy. I have always cared deeply about my students and my job but now I am just at a loss. I know that God provides and I have to believe that if I lose my job that something else will be there. I have enjoyed teaching but I worry that maybe with all the recent changes it is time for me to start thinking about something else. Honestly if i could make money writing I think I would give up teaching in a heartbeat. I really do enjoy my students though so it would be nice if I could keep doing it.
On another note, I am still a bit unsure about my new relationship and about walking away from my ex. I really like the new guy and he is so incredibly sweet but it is still hard to be with someone new. It is hard not to turn to the ex when bad stuff happens at school because he completely understands. Things with the new guy are very different than with the ex and I know that they should be but it feels weird. I know it is time for me to move on and try and be happy without my ex. He has no idea what he wants and I always end up getting hurt when it comes to him because I always want more than he can give me. I deserve to be treated well and that is what the new guy is trying to do.