3 Years

So three years ago today I went on a first date that would forever change the course of my life. It started out as a much needed friendship as I navigated the trials of a second divorce. The date showed both of us that there was much more to us than just friendship. We were officially a couple after that date. We stayed a couple for the next eight months until everything fell apart. We broke up over two years ago. The problem is that for the last year or so we have been having sex intermittently. It seems like the two of us aren’t capable of spending time alone together without having sex. Things always start so innocently enough between us but then he will kiss me and everything changes. We tried for awhile to get back together but nothing came of it. We’ve tried to be friends but it seems like things are always more than just friends between us. I’m still completely in love with him but he doesn’t feel the same way about me. We have had so many conversations about the past but I’ve still never been able to completely let him go. I thought my time in Bolivia had helped a bit now I’m not so sure. I want to be able to let him go but for some reason I haven’t been able too. Now things are just weird between us. I hate that one of my first thoughts this morning was of him when I looked at the date. I wish he didn’t still have this effect on me. He came into my life three years ago and swept me off my feet, and then he walked away. My kids think he was the right person for us but we were just together at the wrong time. It definitely makes you wonder if there will ever be a right time for us. My life is really great right now and I really don’t want to complicate it but I can’t help wondering about my ex.

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