I have yet to figure out why I keep torturing myself with online dating. The exchanges of emails through the online messenger apps that never work very good. The idea of looking through photos and choosing someone based on carefully selected pictures and sometimes inaccurate facts. So I only got back on the dreaded match.com last Thursday. Since then I have chatted with a few people but honestly I haven’t talked to anyone that really makes me hopeful. So I talked to one guy who was a widower only to find out that his wife only passed away two months ago. He was married for 26 years and he’s already looking for someone new two months after she died. I have talked with a couple of other people too but honestly I’m not impressed. I signed up for three months so I will give it a fair chance but I don’t really have a lot of faith that I will meet someone worthwhile.
I miss the days of actually meeting people in person and then getting to know them. I miss being able to read people and their reactions before I invested any time and energy in them. The trouble with online dating is that it takes all the getting to know you stuff and then putting it before the actual seeing someone in person. There are so many things that you just can’t tell about someone without meeting them in person. I know that it is hard to meet people that are single at my age. I never expected to be in this position at almost 42 years old. Twice divorced with two teenage children. I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone but the older I get the more I think it could end up being a possibility. I know that regardless what happens God has a plan for my life. I need to remember that and trust that he knows what is best for me. There are so many things that I want to do in this life and it is quite possible that a relationship would keep me from accomplishing all I want to accomplish.
Dating is hard enough when you’re young but after being divorced and having children it is even harder. My kids are at an age where they get very involved in the people I date. They have a definite idea of the type of person that they think I need to be with. It worries me a bit that they are so particular about who it is okay for me to be with. My kids want a specific type of man and I’m not so sure their ideas and mine mesh together. I really hope that if I meet someone that I think is extremely special that my kids will approve. It is so important to me that they get a long with whoever I end up with. I guess only time will tell what happens in the future for me.