I decided today that even though I know my ex and I will never be what we were, I also know that I can’t just walk away from him. I told him today that I still want to see him. He gives me things that I just don’t get from or with anyone else. I know I should probably try to move on and I haven’t given up on that but for now I am going to include him in my life. I might be making a huge mistake but I just can’t let him go right now. He still wants to see me so I guess we are going to keep seeing each other despite the fact that things aren’t the way I want them to be.

My birthday is less than a week away and my kids just got back from shopping for my birthday with my best friend. We had a really rough holiday season last year because my kids didn’t make plans to go shopping for me. They just expected me to make sure that I provided them with an opportunity to go shopping without me. It is always so hard because as a single mom I don’t necessarily have anyone to help them with things like that. My ex-husband, their dad, doesn’t do anything for me ever. I don’t really expect him too but it would be nice if he would do it for them not me. I am really lucky that my best friend steps in to help out.

Thanksgiving is just days away. I have a lot in my life to be thankful for. I have two amazing children, a job that is fulfilling, and a home to live in. I have a great relationship with my mom and both of my children. I also have a best friend that is always there when I need him. I am very lucky.

I also know that I need to focus on what’s important to me and my future. I need to work hard towards finishing my Dual Credit Certification and I need to start working on finding another job. I have realized lately that I just don’t belong in my current school. I enjoy being in a much more culturally diverse school. My current school is predominantly white. I really miss my old school.

I also need to focus on doing everything I can to help my daughter get into college.  I can’t hardly believe that she will graduate in just a year and a half. I am going to miss her so much once she graduates from high school.


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