So after the fight last week I honestly didn’t expect to hear from my ex. Usually when we get in a fight I have to text him to end our radio silence. He actually shocked me when he not only texted me around lunch but he also apologized. I’m still angry about what happened especially after I read his message and realized that he got the wrong idea about what I was saying last week anyway. I wanted to know about what he wanted for the future. I wasn’t asking him for a relationship and I was accusing him of using me but that is what he got out of our conversation. Sometimes I really hate texting with people. I haven’t responded to his message yet because I’m really not sure what to say. I want to forgive him because the whole thing was obviously a misunderstanding but I’m just not ready to let go of my anger.
How am I going to tell him that I have a date Wednesday or that I am talking to like three other guys? I guess the part that drives me the craziest is that I want to be able to run right back to him and forget about everyone else. These guys I’m talking to are nice but they aren’t him. Why do I have to want him so badly? Why can’t I just walk away? Will I ever be free? Why do I love him so much?