I was thirty before I ever masturbated and to be honest it literally created a monster. My first husband actually got upset with me the few times he caught me masturbating. I think it is much harder for a man to understand the reasons women masturbate. Yes it is a release, but it is about so much more. Men typically get off quickly and easily and for them it is about release. For me, it started as a way to fully understand my body and the growing arousal that I started experiencing at thirty. In my twenties, I really could take sex or leave it. I never touched myself and I really didn’t understand what orgasms were for me. After I turned thirty, I started exploring my own body. I wanted to know what it took to get me off. I wanted to feel pleasure. Now sometimes I think I masturbate too much. I have a hard time experiencing an orgasm during sex so I tend to give them to myself. My ex thinks it’s just a matter of time before I will be able to orgasm with him. I have felt like I was close so many times but I still can’t get over the last little bit I need for the release. I have found that if I masturbate on a regular basis that interest in sex stays heightened. I never considered myself a sexual person when I was young but now I think I am worse than a teenage boy sometimes. I’m lucky that my ex willingly talks about sex and fantasies with me on a regular basis. He also tends to be willing to try anything that strikes my fancy. I love that he is so open to anything and everything my heart desires. I know that there aren’t a lot of things that he would say know too. He shared with me some things recently that surprised me but they didn’t change my opinion of him like he was worried it would. I respect that openness and honestly that we exchange when it comes to sex. I know that he doesn’t really enjoy masturbating. He would rather have the real thing and he will deny himself at times until he can get the real thing. He likes sharing me with his friend. We have only done it once but it was interesting. We have talked recently about trying it again. I’m not sure if I should be bothered about the fact that he likes to share me or not but everything we share seems to bring us closer together. I like sharing new sexual experiences with him and maybe that’s why I stay so horny. The hornier I get the more I masturbate. I guess that’s a good deal for him because then I want him even more. I think women tend to be very tight lipped about masturbation which is stupid.  We all have needs and sometimes self pleasuring is the way to deal with those needs.

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