Should I Be Angry?

He hasn’t texted or made any contact since Friday afternoon and then late this afternoon I get a text.  “How was your weekend?”, he texts. Keep in mind that he was kid free all weekend and he didn’t even reach out but then he has the audacity to ask me how my weekend was! I don’t get it.  Why even text if he doesn’t even want to see me when he has an opportunity. I’m starting to think it would just be easier if he would let me go and just forget about what we had at one point. I don’t need the bullshit mixed signals making me crazy. I am thoroughly pissed off at him and I’m not just going to start a conversation up like I’m just fine. I waited awhile to text him back and when I finally did I only gave him one word, “Fine.” He didn’t try to text back not that I am in the least bit surprised. That’s the problem with him lately. Nothing he does anymore surprises me. I expect him to act like an ass but yet I still feel hurt when it happens. I think I have finally reached the definition of crazy. I keep doing the same things over and over and I still expect a different result. He may love me and he appreciate having me around but he’s not going to treat me the way I deserve and I’m going to keep being disappointed because I expect something else. Why won’t i just walk away? Why do I keep giving him this power over me? The last time we had sex it wasn’t even that good. I had better sex last week with my friend. I want to yell and be upset with him but at the same time I’m not even sure it’s worth it anymore. We’ve always had great sex but the last time we were together it was like all he wanted was for me to suck his cock. He just wanted to lie there and not participate. It was so bad I finally asked him what the deal was with him. After I said something it was like he flipped a switch because all of a sudden he was different. Of course in the middle of sex he switched gears and shoved his dick in my ass. We’ve had anal sex plenty of times but this was painful because there was no warning or even anything to get me warmed up for it. I told him to slow down and he did but he ultimately made me bleed. I think it was one of the first times that I actually felt like things between us were just about sex. I don’t mind having a casual situation with him but I never signed up to be his fuck buddy. I want more than that or it’s not worth it to me anymore. I know this is his busiest time of year and that he has a lot on his plate but at this point I don’t think I even matter to him anymore. His birthday is Friday and I will text him then because it’s the right thing to do but that’s all. I won’t start any conversations with him again unless he proves to me that it’s worth it. I deserve better than what he’s giving me and I’m done just accepting less. I have a lot to offer to someone special in my life and right now he’s just not measuring up. I don’t know what the future will bring but I know that if he wants to see me than he will have to come to me.

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