So on Sunday night after we dropped my son off at his dad’s house we hopped on a plane and flew to Florida. I went to Florida many times as a kid but it has honestly been years since I have visited. All my boyfriend’s immediate family lives in Florida except his older sister who lives in Indiana. So Sunday our flight was delayed so it was actually Monday morning very early when we arrived at my boyfriend’s dad and step-mom’s house. I finally met them on Monday morning. We have spent the last three days going to the beach and the community pool. We have also had a great time visiting with his dad and step-mom. This afternoon they left to attend a funeral in another part of Florida but we are staying at their house until tomorrow afternoon. Most of our pictures have been of the beach so far but it is utterly beautiful here. My boyfriend got burned the first day we went to the beach and his sunburn has steadily gotten worse. I didn’t pretty good the first day but the last couple of days I have managed to get burned in a few places. Tomorrow we head to Sarasota proper for the next leg of our trip with his mom. So far I feel extremely welcome and invited by his family. It is so nice to have such an incredible relationship with someone I love and really genuine like his family too.
So last night was my daughter’s senior prom. This year is going by so fast and that was crazy obvious last night. I started thinking back to my prom which was actually 26 years ago and on virtually the same weekend. When I was in high school my lesbian daughter would never have been able to go to prom with her girlfriend. I know things are still not perfect when it comes to overall acceptance but I am grateful that she was able to go to prom with someone she loves and have a good time. Another crazy thing about last night is the fact that her girlfriend wore the same dress that I wore to my senior prom 26 years ago. It was so incredibly cool to see her wearing my dress. When I originally thought of the idea I wasn’t sure she would go for it but she did and she looked absolutely beautiful. Life is short and I consider last night a huge win for my daughter and everyone that doesn’t fit the heterosexual mode. She looked beautiful and felt great.
Here are just a few pictures that were taken last night for Prom. As you can see they are all smiles which is the way it’s supposed to be!!
Just for fun, here is my Senior Prom picture from 26 years ago wearing the dress!!
I just turned in my last paper or assignment associated with my Dual Credit English Certification that I have been working on for almost two years. I am so super excited and I can hardly believe that I am done. Now I can actually read for pleasure and spend more time on my blog again. I can work on my IB Certification and just spend time with my man. I can fully enjoy my daughter’s graduation and her graduation party in a couple of weeks. It feels great to be able to mark another accomplishment off my list. I remember about six years ago when I first started thinking about getting my masters how scared I was. I wasn’t sure it was something I could do. I didn’t think I was smart enough or even organized enough to do it all. I am a strong believer that we do what we have too if we want it badly enough. I found the time to finish my masters and be a more which I am extremely proud of. Then a couple of years ago I decided to start my Dual Credit English Certification. Yet again I figured out how to make it all work without going insane. I am lucky because I have great kids that always encourage me and a mom that has been super supportive. Now I have this amazing man in my life that has become my biggest cheerleader. He honestly inspires me to keep going after my dreams no matter what. I love the way we do life together and I look forward to our future.
So I started listening to a book today called Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. It is an interesting book for me because it is about all those things that make you feel like a failure in life and how to get past them. I don’t usually read self-help books but one of the other teachers in my English Department told me all about it. I have to say that although I only listened for about twenty minutes, it is really pretty cool so far. One of the things she stresses in her book is the idea that you are in charge of your own destiny and your own happiness. She also says that the only way you will be happy is to take control of your own life. I really love this thought because I have always tried to be one of those people that takes control of my life to make it better. I haven’t always been in the best physical shape the way I would like but I never give up. If I let things get bad then I just start from where I am and make it better. I have managed to complete a master’s degree as a single mom and full time teacher so I know that anything is possible if you really want to make it happen. I am currently working on my Dual Credit English Certification which has required more graduate level classes and more stressful juggling between my children, my job and school. I have always been a hard worker and the last few years I have just learned how to manage my time even better than when I was younger.
I can honestly say that my life is better right now than it has been in a really long time. I am in a very loving relationship with an incredibly generous and loving man. My children are well on their way to having successful futures with just a bit more guidance. My job is not perfect but I have one and it is relatively close to home. I have everything I need and plenty more that is just gravy. I know that my attitude is part of what has made my life better and I try and continue to stay positive and believe that I can do the things I want to do.
So this is the first weekend that I’ve been alone since I met my new boyfriend. He left this morning to go to his niece’s wedding in Florida. I have already heard from him multiple times but I have to admit it feels really weird to be away from him. We had the most amazing night last night which made him leaving this morning even harder. He will be back home on Monday and I know I will see him Monday night because I have his dogs. Tonight I am spending time with my best friend which will be nice because I haven’t seen him in quite awhile. Today has been interesting because I should have been more productive on my midterm but I kept finding other things to distract me from working. I did get several of the terms done in the last few hours. I know I will have a lot to do tomorrow but I know that I can get it done. It is weird and nice to have a little bit of time to myself but I realize that I really like having my boyfriend here. The more I think about things the more I think that I could live with this man. I think that I could actually build a life with this man. I really hope that we have the opportunity to do that. The future is looking bright.
So my ex contacted me last Friday after three weeks. I responded to him on Saturday and told him that our arrangement wasn’t going to work for me anymore. I finally heard back from him again today. At first he responded as if I was accusing him of lying or leading me on which I never said. I told him that and then he told me I deserved to be happy. I proceeded to tell him that the sad thing is that I was happy with him just not our situation. He told me he wished it could have been different. I told him it could have which made him admit that he was the reason it wasn’t. I didn’t respond again after that and I have no idea whether or not I will ever hear from him again. I had a strange feeling of clarity after our exchange. I am sad probably for the first time since my birthday because I know things are really over but I also feel like at least I have some element of closure. I do miss him because he wasn’t just my lover but one of my best friends. I know that I need to look toward the future but just for the day I am reminiscing about the past. I will probably always love him but he isn’t capable of returning that love. I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve anymore. I am a great person and I deserve to be with someone that appreciates that about me. I will miss him though. I doubt I will ever meet anyone else that makes me feel the way he did.